Gong

Korean cuisine? Well, I suppose those industrious chappies must eat something when they aren’t busy cobbling together TV’s and mobile phones or knocking up cheapo Stratocaster guitar copies. But ‘Korean cuisine’ has a somewhat hollow ring to it; a bit like, say, ‘Longford gastronomy’. Which is why I was keen to investigate the genre by visiting a Stillorgan restaurant which I thought was called ‘Dong’ but turned out to be ‘Gong’.

I’m going to kick off this review with a touch of naming and shaming. As I was desirous of investigating what bevvy would best accompany Korean nosh I decided to leave the car at home. We have a few taxi firm cards pinned up on the kitchen wall so I selected one at random, dialling the number. On the stroke of 8pm a pleasant geezer rocks up in a big, plush, grey Mercedes and in I get. A run round the corner to pick up Earl of The Trance, my dining companion, and off we steer for deepest Stillorgan, normally a ten minute drive away. We go via Blackrock, which Mercedes Man affirms is best. Arriving at the shopping precinct we overshoot by 100 yards or so and have to reverse. “Thanks, pal, that’s twenty-two fifty” says Mercedes Man. “Rip-off or wha’?” says I. “Well, there’s the phone call. And unsocial hours.”
“Oh, right. Well I suppose it is 8.30.” No wonder the bugger can afford to drive a big plush Merc.

Dong, sorry, Gong, is located above the bookies’, in the first parade of shops on Lower Kilmacud Road. You go upstairs to the restaurant, a pleasant room, oriental in flavour but not obsessively so. The waiting staff were pleasant and smiley. In some oriental restaurants you get the feeling you are going to be drop-kicked into oblivion if you as much as ask for the soy sauce. The menu proved, disappointingly, to be a juxtaposition of Korean and Chinese food, with the Korean content outnumbered in the ratio of 3:1 – more on this later. We decided to compare and contrast.

We took soup. Korean mushroom, which proved to be chicken and mushroom, for The Earl; Chinese hot and sour, something of a ‘must have’ for me. Both were tasty and substantial. Purely in the interests of research we ordered beer – Tsingdao and wine. The list was global in nature, the wines from a single supplier, all-too-often the case. Clearly the Chinese (and Koreans too) regard the compilation of wine lists as something of an ordeal, a chore best left to gwailos. The Earl suggested a gewurz but there was no way I was going to part with €33 for a bog standard example. In the end I selected, faux de mieux, an Alsace Riesling, Dopf & Iron 2006 that did little to enhance the food but was pleasant, if unremarkable.

Neither of us were brave enough to face the jellyfish starter, wimping out on the safe-option prawn pancake instead. It proved a sound choice; fat prawns wrapped in what appeared to be small omelettes, supplied with a zingy dip. From the Chinese side of the carte we selected soft dumplings, filled with chicken and pork, intriguingly spiced. These The Earl christened ‘space invaders’ for they looked exactly like the blobby creatures that did for you while you were busy zapping all the little starry things. Our third starter (Korean) was deep-fried squid, always a good test of a restaurant’s intent. I was expecting ‘not a lot’ and so it turned out. Greedygutses both, we took three mains, Earl opting for the dry-spiced shredded duck while I took the Korean pork dish. King prawns with ginger, scallion and dried chillies made up the number. We added egg fried rice. Chilli quotients of all dishes were listed on the menu.

We decided the pork, served in a rich spicy sauce with what could have been pulses or maybe small nuts, was the winner. If they were nuts surely that should have been indicated on the menu? I am regularly coming across people with severe nut allergies and many have horror stories to tell. The prawns were delicious, little spikes of heat amid the unctuous succulence. Duck was slightly disappointing, a tad dry, spicing unsubtle.

The Earl of The Trance returned from the gents proclaiming it to be one of the seven wonders of the modern world. I went to inspect. On the right hand side of the pan there was what appeared to be a large TV remote but there was no sign of a screen anywhere. Later I consulted the proprietor who advised that it was the controller for a multi-function pampering device, bum-washer, pube drier and god knows what else. Amazing!

We also tackled your man over the imbalance between Korea and China. He told us the original menu featured a 50-50 split but there was considerable consumer resistance to the Korean sector. I asked him if Gong would eventually become a mainstream Chinese restaurant. He looked a bit glum and said “Possibly”. I’m not surprised for the innate conservatism of Irish diners is a given, despite our latter day notions of being a cutting-edge country. Shame, shame on us, I say. Gong is trying to give us something different and making a fair fist of it. The cooking is by-and-large sound, the fidelity, absolute; the staff, lovely. Anyone who eats there and doesn’t add at least a couple of Korean dishes into the banqueting mix should be kung-fued at least as far as Foxrock.

The damage: €132, including 2 soups, 3 starters, 3 mains, rice, 2 beers, 1 bottle wine. Those not on a mission could get away with around €100 for 2.

Ambience: ***1/2
Service: *****
Quality:***1/2
Value for Money: ***1/2
Overall: ***1/2

Gong, 8 Lower Kilmacud Road, Stillorgan. Tel: 01 278 3328